Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy and a little sad

Good morning!  It is supposed to reach 93 degrees today!  I think that is pretty warm for May...even in Idaho.  But I am glad.  I am so tired of cold days, that I will trade them for hot.  Besides, we have air conditioning:)  Oops!  I'd better knock on wood.
So in honor of Mother's Day I thought I would include a few snapshots of my mom.  I miss her so much!!!  It makes this day a little sad, but also happy to have been so blessed with an amazing mother!  She was a lot of fun!  You can maybe see that in her pictures.

Mom was a happy mom...I look a little tired!
I think this was taken during Tommy's illness.

And I am enjoying Mother's day, mostly because of facebook.  I like seeing posts of my mom's picture, and everybody else's mom's pictures!  I especially miss her now when I could use a little wisdom and advice.  She was always so good at listening!  And she did give wonderful advice.  I wonder how she knew what to say.  I never seem to know what to tell my kids....or I say too much.  Oh well.  Maybe by the time I am old...;)
So one of the topics at Women's Conference was "Weary Not".  And the question, "Am I enough?"  And I have been thinking of both of those a lot since the conference.  It is hard not to feel weary...with responsibilities, and callings, and such.  I think the Lord knows that.  And so I am being released from my Relief Society teaching calling.  I do feel some relief, but a little sad too.  I love teaching my sisters in the ward.  They are good women who really are trying hard to weary not.  And I liked the feeling that I was helping them to go forward just a little.  But I never got over feeling nervous and not nearly well enough prepared for each lesson. Although I think chocolate definitely helped there!  I am still the choir leader, which I love!  I don't feel weary in that calling at all.  I love leading the choir.  I think the hardest part is not being able to inspire more people to join us.  But I know how hard it is to come.  There are always so many things pressing us to do this or that.  And choir is one more thing.  But it is thrilling to stand in front of an enthusiastic choir singing their hearts out to the Lord!  I think it is my most favorite calling so far...although primary chorister was pretty fun too.  And there was that calling at BYU as the publicity chairman where I got to make posters!
To the question, "Am I enough?"  I suppose I am never really going to be enough...not when compared to the Lord.  So maybe my job is just to point towards Him.  And by doing that I can be the best me.  Mel and I were talking yesterday about my art. I am admittedly a little discouraged at present.  I guess I know enough now to know how far I have to go to become good.  And it is a long ways.  I haven't given up, but I realize I will have to discipline myself to keep at it for many years to come.  And I wonder if I have the drive to do that.  And maybe in the meantime I can do meaningful things.  I really want to illustrate children's books.  And I really want to write the stories to go with those illustrations.  But I am quite unsure of myself.  And so it goes back to trusting the Lord.  Next semester my main focus will be on a senior exhibition project.  So this summer I plan to get some direction of how to proceed in this.  I have thought that I would like to illustrate President Monson's words, "Kneel down to pray. Step up to serve. Reach out to rescue!" Here's a link to that Talk by Pres. Monson.   If I was a student at BYU this would not be controversial....however I am sure I will meet with resistance at BSU.  Still, I might be able to pull it off.  I figure if someone can make a display of 30 ceramic breasts (no, not kidding) or graphic depictions of same sex attraction (not kidding here either), then why can't I paint something to help lead people out of the mire?  It will take some creativity and fast talking on my end of things.  And then a lot of hard work to pull it off.  And perhaps a lot of practicing in oil this summer.  I guess it is up to me...and the Lord of course.
Well, I have gotten a little serious today.  I have been stewing about this for a while now.  And I may have to compromise to please the staff at BSU.  I will have to muddle in this for a while to figure things out.
I hope things are happy and well in cyberspace today.  I found out yesterday that my grandson Bobby Horner is going to be taking his endowments out in June at the Reno temple.  His family is moving there soon. His dad is already working there as an optometrist, and as soon as school is over they will all join him.  I am having to miss his graduation from high school, and so I don't want to miss this, which seems much more important to me anyway.  Bobby is Amy's oldest son from her first husband.  He is leaving for Puerto Rico on his mission in July.
Well, I'd better go get ready for church and choir practice!  Take care and have a most wonderful Mother's Day.  I am pulling for you!!!  We're all in this together.  HAGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreatWan!!!!  I am definitely planning on it here!!!  Melody

1 comment:

LeAnn said...

What a wonderful post on your mother. I loved the pictures. I miss my Mom too. I still have moments when I want to just call her and tell her something. I doubt I will ever get over those thoughts.
I liked your idea for your project using the talk by Pres. Monson. I hope they will let you do it.
Have you been teaching RS and doing all that you do plus be the choir director? You are even more than amazing. I am happy that you get to keep the calling you enjoy the most because you probably need that.
Blessings and hugs!