Tuesday, May 20, 2014

A Day of Remembrance

Good day to you!  I am determined to make this a positive day.  So far I have cleaned out one kitchen drawer:)  That is an excellent start!  And I plan to paint today.  I have a few things in mind.  Did I ever post my final painting for my anatomy painting class?  Here it is.

I kind of like it.  I did get an A in there.  It was a nice feeling to see my grade posted on Blackboard.  Of course it is less about ability at painting, and more about getting everything done and turned in.  I heard several students talking about how they hadn't started on the color chart, and others saying how they hadn't done any of the homework.  So that probably gave me an advantage.  I am a little over the top about meeting deadlines and getting things turned in.
OK, so today is an important date that I can never forget.  I try to, but that might mean forgetting Tommy, and I can never do that.
 This is the date he died in 1983.  And this is one of the last photos I took of him.  We went to Larkey Park in Walnut Creek.  He wanted to see the animals they had there.  He met a little boy there, who said hi to him.  After, he told me he had made a friend.  I remember being a little surprised at that.  He was such a loving and caring little spirit.  He died a few days later after having a brain hemorrhage.  He was six, so now he would be 37.  It is hard to believe so much time has passed.  It has always seemed a little surreal to me anyway.  When we found out he had cancer, my world sort of turned upside down for a few years, and it hasn't really righted itself all of the way.  I feel that he is safe and in a good place, it isn't that.  I just miss him. It helps to have a grandson, Taylor, that looks quite a bit like him.  Taylor said to me the other day, "I would never say this out loud, but my mom thinks you favor me because I look like your son that died, what was his name?"  "Tommy."  "Oh right, she thinks I look a little like him."  And it's true.  It's not the only reason I favor him a little.  There are a few of my grandkids I do that to, mostly because I worry about them surviving divorce.  But I admit I also have a warm spot in my heart for little Taylor, because he does remind me of Tommy...a lot. I used to worry about that, but I have decided it is one of those tender mercies that Elder Bednar talked about. (Here is a link to that talk if you are interested.  Elder Bednar ) And I have met a couple of other moms who have lost children and then seen them reflected in the face of a grandchild.  It is a blessing!
Well, I guess that is enough somber thoughts for one day.  I am doing fine.  It used to be hard to get through this day.  I wanted everyone to remember, and usually I would have to remind them.  I have learned it is OK if I remember him in my own private way, but I also feel better writing a little in my blog.  Then after I am gone and my posterity read this, they will know he was remembered...always.  Have a good day.  I'm still pulling for you!!!!  Melody


Kim Wilcox said...

Love you mom!

singing/granny said...

Love you too sweetie!!!

Vicky Porter said...

I love you Aunt Melody!! I still remember when we found out he had cancer. We were so sad!! I love you so much & I am so grateful for your example! You are amazing!!! Love you!!
Vicky Porter

singing/granny said...

Thanks Vicky! That means a lot to me. You are one very special lady, and one of my favorite nieces! Love you too! Melody

LeAnn said...

I am so glad you posted your art work. I think I told you that you would get an A. I really liked them all but a little partial to the last one of the boy.
I think that losing a child is probably one of the hardest of all deaths. I think it is so good that you grieve because that really is healthy. I know you want him remembered and I do think it is a gift from heaven if one of your grandchildren resemble him.
I also think that writing your feelings is one of the best things to do.
Blessings and hugs for you!

singing/granny said...

Thank you LeAnn! I always love to read your blog, and I am delighted when you comment on mine. Thank you for the sweet comments and kind thoughts! Melody